Martin Luther, a man for his time

This is something I posted on Facebook on November 1, 2017. As I watch the news this morning, it seems appropriate to post again. Five days from today, we go to the polls in what some are calling the most important mid-term elections of all time. No matter who wins or loses, there will be people unhappy with the way it turned out. I pray every day for those elections, but it is God who decides who He will allow to lead our country. That is true about our president, who will be in office for at least two more years. That is true for the Senate and Congress. That is true for every country in the world. Yes, we need to vote, but no matter what happens, God is in charge, and we need to trust Him

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Last night was the 500th anniversary of the day when Martin Luther nailed his 95 "talking points" to the door of the chapel (October 31, 1517). Thanks to the printing press & printers looking for interesting material to print and sell, they went "viral," and soon this obscure monk and his ideas were on the minds of many. It sparked a movement that changed the world.

As I sat in church last night, reviewing what I knew about Luther, it occurred to me that he was a man for his time. God used him mightily, but he was loud, sometimes crude and about as far from a diplomat as you could get. And yet, had he been less strong, even less brash, perhaps, he would not have stood as he did, and the Reformation might never have happened.

If Twitter had been at his disposal, I can only imagine the tweets that Luther would send. (This might give you some idea: https://churchpop.com/2014/08/10/29-of-martin-luthers-most-hiliariously-over-the-top-insults/)

God's choice of leaders may not always fit what we think we want, but He knows what we need. Our job is to trust Him with that.

Called out of darkness: A Halloween story

 

The Bible says that all of us were once darkness. I was once darkness. Not only did I live in darkness, but I actually sought it out. I didn't realize that was what I was doing. 

I've been thinking about how to tell this story for days. If I wanted to tell it at all. In all honesty, no, I don't want to tell it. Christians are not "good" people. True Christians are forgiven sinners - forgiven because the blood of Jesus covers all those things that we did, are doing, will do that make us ashamed. This story makes me ashamed, but like all my sins, Jesus' blood covers this, too.

There was a time when Halloween was my favorite holiday. I told my college roommate that it was my favorite because it had no meaning - that it was just for fun. We had "secret spooks" in our dorm one year, and I had a great time filling my assigned person's mailbox with round candies that would spill out when she opened the latch, turning all her clothes inside out on their hangers (with a bit of help from her roommate), leaving a trail of paper ghosts for her to follow to find a prize. All fun. 

I went to church, but I didn't really get anything out of it. I had grown up going to a Methodist church. I'm not sure if they didn't talk about Jesus there, or if I just didn't hear it. Regardless, by the time I went to college, I considered myself a Christian, but I don't think I really was. At best, I was a tiny, baby Christian who didn't know anything about anything.

College was a confusing time. Classes and grades were the only things that were easy, and in that way, I excelled. Every thing else was superficial. I laughed for hours with my friends over people and places and professors. The real me never came out, though. My life was painful and full of never-answered questions. I meandered down all kinds of paths that didn't go anywhere. I searched for spiritual meaning but found emptiness. I learned to act like a caring, loving "Christian" person, but inside, I was a mess. I decided my problem was a lack of self-esteem, so I went on a self-help binge. I spent whole weekends "getting to know and like myself."

I started reading the Bible, but the meaning slid off me. Jesus died on the cross so that my sins could be forgiven, and I could go to heaven. So? Did I believe it? Really, truly, deep inside where no one could see, did I REALLY believe it? Other things were equally interesting. Reincarnation - that was weird, but maybe true? Out-of-body experiences sounded plausible. ESP was fascinating. Ghosts? Maybe there was too much evidence for them to be totally a hoax. Same thing for UFO's. It's a big universe, after all. Who's to say? What about spirit quests? What about . . . You get the idea.

I went to church, but it didn't do anything for the hole in my soul. I know now that it didn't help because I never heard about Jesus there! (Pretty sad commentary on the state of today's churches) It wasn't until I started listening to Christian radio that I started hearing about sin and the need for a savior. I listened to one Bible teacher after another, and finally, things started to click. One day, I pulled into a grocery store with Christian radio playing in the car. Just as I parked, I heard, "If you were the only person that Jesus could have saved by dying on the cross - if you were the ONLY person who would listen and believe and have your sins forgiven - Jesus would have done it anyway, just for you. He loves you that much."

I sat there, stunned. The message stabbed me in the heart. Truth. I knew I was hearing the truth. I decided to read the Bible from beginning to end. Every day I read, and every day I prayed, "If this is real, help me understand. Help me believe. I want to believe! Jesus, are you really God? Help me know for sure."

Somewhere during the twelve hundred and seventy-three pages, God reached me and I changed. I caught a glimpse of my life as God saw it. I'm sure I condemned myself to eternal suffering before age two, let alone those college years. But now I KNEW that Jesus loved me, and that he took every sin -- my angry outbursts, hypocritical judgments and others I don't even want to remember -- to the cross with him. When I die and stand before God, Jesus will step in front of me. God won't see my sins, but Jesus' righteousness instead. Heaven waits for me - not because I was good, kind and loving, but because God the Father punished Jesus instead of me.

And that was that, right? From that point on, I was a good Christian. I had read the Bible and put the past behind me. Here's the thing that is so hard to write about - so hard to admit. For several years after that, I lived in two worlds. I have no doubt that I was saved, but like Lazarus stumbling out of his tomb (alive!), I was still wrapped in my grave clothes.

I was a Christian who was attracted to darkness. How crazy is that? In my defense, I didn't realize that was what I was doing. I loved all things supernatural. If there was a rational explanation for something, I was disappointed. I loved stories about wizards and magic. It was harmless entertainment. Halloween was still just for fun, with cute decorations and costumes and trick or treating with my young daughters. If "Harry Potter" had been available in those days, I would have loved it and everything about it. If someone had tried to tell me that ANY of that was wrong, I would have laughed at her. I didn't actually believe any of it. It was just for fun. I was able to separate that world from the world of being a Christian. I could enjoy it for the harmless fun that it was. Right? Isn't that right?

I said this was a Halloween story, and every Halloween story needs a spooky part. I went on, just like that - reading my Bible and also reading books like Harry Potter (that particular book hadn't been written, yet, but there were hundreds of others). I discovered a series of books that I especially liked, that had characters with magical powers. There were so many of the books that I could read 3 or 4 a week - for weeks on end. I found myself thinking about the characters all the time. At night, I started dreaming about them. Then, in my dreams, the characters started taking on a life of their own, and it was like I was in the story. They were talking to me, telling me things. It was fascinating. So real - so fun.

Had anyone tried to talk to me about the dangers of that, I would have argued that he or she was wrong. It was harmless, and I was perfectly fine. And then one day, the characters talked to me in real voices - except I was not asleep. In that moment, I realized what I had done. I was listening to demons. Can I convey to you my terror? My horror? Up to that day, all was "fun," and then God allowed me to see past the obscuring veil. I had allowed the evil one not only into my house, but into my mind. I was listening to creatures of darkness who had masqueraded as the characters from the books I had been reading. Masqueraded as angels of light. When God allows you to actually see the enemy as they are, there is no fun there. There is no entertainment there. There are only lies and deception, darkness and evil - the blackness of the pit itself.

I cried out to God, to Jesus, my savior, "Help me! Make it stop! I'm so sorry!" and just like that, they were gone. I fear that if I had not obeyed the voice of God in that moment, when He called me out of darkness, that I would have been lost. The evil ones would have had possession of me.

I was a Christian still wrapped in grave clothes. I was a Christian still chasing darkness. That day, I stopped reading those kinds of books. I stopped having anything to do with Halloween (because it's not meaningless). I stopped all of that, and instead, I try to warn others. Not because I see myself as some sort of "better than thou." No - because I'm like an alcoholic, and that would be taking a drink. To this day, when I come across books or movies or pictures or anything like I used to love, there is a tug on my soul. "Come back! It's just harmless! You know you love it!" whispers the evil one. But, the Spirit within me says more loudly, "No! Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them." (Ephesians 5:11)

I have been called out of darkness, and so have you. Don't let the evil one fool you in whatever way you are vulnerable. For me, it was the attraction of the supernatural, and honestly, the love of darkness. For someone else, it might be sexual or some other thing. We all have our weak spots where Satan tries to get in, but we can't live in both worlds, calling ourselves Christians while chasing darkness.

This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

1 John 1:5-10

I was once darkness, but I have been called out of it. The pull is still there, but with God's help, I will not give in to it. 

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

  Ephesians 5:8-11 

On this day when much of America is celebrating darkness, don't be like me, trying to walk in both worlds. I'm not here to make any doctrinal argument about what Christians can and cannot do or whether a Christian can be possessed or oppressed or whatever. I am just telling my own story, and if you would like to tell me yours, please comment below. 

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. 

1 Peter 2:9

Work that only you can do

God created you on purpose and especially designed you to do the work that He particularly created for you to do.

How amazing is that? Do you realize what that means? It means you cannot be too old, too sick, too brainless, too sad, too ANYTHING (because God knew you'd be those things) to do the work that He prepared for YOU to do. Only you. There is work to do for God that only you can do, because you were created for it and it was created for you.

Other people's lives may look amazing because of who they are or what they do or where they live. They may be smarter than you. Or stronger. More athletic or slimmer or prettier. They may be younger or richer or whatever-er. It may appear that God uses them for great things, while you are left - what? Doing the dishes? Making jewelry that nobody buys? Being so tired or wrapped in brain fog that you have to make a "to do" list just to get through the day?

But here's the thing - no matter where you are currently at in your life or the age of your body or whatever - there is still work for you to do - that God created in advance for you to do. He created it IN ADVANCE - meaning before you were too old, too tired, too brainless, knowing you would be those things. (or at least feel those things). You are meant to be about the work that God created you to do. You can't be "too" anything to do it - because God designed it especially for you. And you for it. And there is no better thing than to be in the center of God's will, doing what He wants you to do.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

I will be writing about this again as I struggle to wrap my brain around it.

God's plans are always good

Posts have been few and far between these days. Partly because there is only so much time and only so much energy in any one day. Partly because my brain does not always cooperate with the written language. But mostly, because every post would be about current struggles, and while that might be beneficial to me, I would imagine it would get very old to a reader. 

God's plans are always good. The Bible says that. My faith accepts that. My experience shows it to be true for the past. Therefore, it is true for the present. It will continue to be true for the future. 

God's plans are always good. Even when we don't understand them. Even when His way of doing things isn't what you thought it was going to be. Even when - in the moment, at least - it makes you cry. Doubting that is basically not trusting what God says about Himself in His word. 

Sometimes, we look at a pain we've experienced and everything in you says, "I don't want to do that again!!!" And your dread of going through that again is probably far worse than actually doing it. 

When you look at something on the horizon - say a city in the distance - from the vantage point of maybe a mountain or hilltop, you can see the whole journey between where you are and that place far off. You see every bump, every curve, every obstacle that might block your path. It's overwhelming. How can I go through that? I don't want to do that! It's too far. I'm too tired. 

That's what it's like when you're facing - again - something that caused pain in the past. It's like seeing the city in distance and the impossible amount of territory between here and there. 

The thing that I'm reminding myself of today, is that God's plans are always good. If it is His plan that I traverse every inch of that impossible-looking journey, then I have to know that He will be there with me every partial-inch of the way. And that He will have a reason for me having to do that. He doesn't ask hard things of me for no reason. It is either to grow me or strengthen me or to give me an experience that I can use to help others. Somehow, He will tie it all together in a way that fits His perfect plan.

A few months ago, a pastor Facebook friend posted a message about Romans 8:28. Do you remember that verse? "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." The point of his post was that sometimes, the things that happen are for someone else's good. You may be going through a hard thing, but it's for someone else's good. And while that may be completely true, in my opinion, he was wrong for suggesting that it wasn't also for YOUR good. If you love God, if you are called according to His purpose, then whatever happens is also for your good. God is very economical that way. He is perfectly capable of aligning things so that yes, they are for the good of someone else - but they are also for your good. It doesn't say "some" things. It says "ALL" things. Not just the things that make you happy. Not just the things you write in your diary because you want to remember every moment. All things. That includes the things that make you cry. It includes that looming event in your future that fills you with dread because you are afraid of how much it will hurt. 

Seeing that journey in its entirety ahead of time (imagining that event or whatever), is not always a good thing. What you don't realize is that even if you are picturing it correctly, you may be seeing something that will take months, even years. And step by step, one moment at a  time, it is gradually accomplished. When you look back at the end, you realize that God was there, and while it was every bit as hard as you thought, God had paced it out for you, and together, you got through it.

On the other hand,  you may not be seeing it correctly at all. You may not see that parts of the journey are not at all like you imagine. You don't really have to swim that lake - you get to ride in a speedboat. Or that city on the horizon that you thought you were heading to? Well, it wasn't your destination at all. 

God's plans are always good. They are better than anything we can come up with on our own. Only He can see the end from the beginning. Only He can take all the events of your life and weave them together - light threads and dark - to create a beautiful tapestry that will last forever.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:16-21 (NLT)

Surrender and a cup of tea

My neighbor and I have been meeting most mornings for prayer for some time now. Often, she greets me with a wonderful cup of tea. So, we talk and drink tea and pray about our families and neighborhood and the world.

Recently, we have added reading a section of Andrew Murray's "Absolute Surrender" to our prayer time. This morning, we read a portion called, "God Blesses When You Surrender" (page 9-11 of that link) and the author was using the illustration of a tea cup, filled to the brim with warm and wonderful tea. He made the point that the cup is empty and ready to be filled with tea, and that if it was filled with something else, like ink or wine or vinegar, it couldn't be filled with tea.

As my neighbor read those paragraphs and the ones that follow, God was showing me something in addition to the author's words. You see, every morning, before I go to my neighbor's house, I drink another small cup of tea - except this one has one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in it. There is perhaps 6 or 7 ounces of tea and only one tablespoon of vinegar, and yet what do I taste? I taste vinegar. Granted, it would taste much, much worse without the tea.

I realized that I am like that cup of tea with vinegar in it. Those things that are me, my, mine that I hold onto so tightly (whether I realize it or not) are like the vinegar in my tea. The tea is like God's presence in my life. I am a believer, and I trust God when He says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) and yet, my own wants, needs and desires can drown out the "taste" of God when they are not of Him. Dark thoughts, fear and anxiety that creep in from the evil one are like more and more vinegar in my tea. The tea is still there! How much worse would the taste of my life be without God's spirit within me?

God has not withheld His spirit from me, yet I cannot always "taste" that He is there when there is too much "me" going on. It's like more and more vinegar in my tea. I echo the words of John the Baptist, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30).

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34:8

 

The Refiner's Fire

In case you haven't noticed, yet, this blog is not from someone who has it all figured out. When I reflect on where I am in my walk with God, more often than not, I feel like a baby Christian - who doesn't know anything about anything. A toddler at best. It's kind of funny how that works. As soon as somewhere in your layers of thoughts (because you don't allow it on the top layer, at least), you start thinking/feeling anything like, "I'm really starting to understand God and what He's doing in my life," He shows you yet again that His thoughts are not your thoughts. His ways are not your ways.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9 

There is another verse that applies to me right now:

If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.  

 1 Corinthians 10:12

The passage goes on to say:

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience.

And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand.

When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

 1 Corinthians 10:13

If you think that's about marital fidelity or lying or stealing or any such things, you'd be right, of course, but it's about a whole lot more than that. There is one great temptation that is behind all of the enemy's schemes, and that is to turn away from God - to stop believing that His plans are always good, to stop believing that He has everything under control, to stop believing that you can trust every word in the Bible, and on and on - a slippery slope that finally leads to outright unbelief and despair. 

But, you'd be giving the enemy way too much credit if you think he has the power to cause anything like that. He can do NOTHING without God's permission. Remember the story of Job? Job had it all together - a righteous man who kept God's commandments, a man rich in children, possessions and servants and even health. And Satan asked and was given permission by God to take that all away. The result? Job came dangerously close to assigning evil intentions to God, but in the end, he learned his lesson and God blessed him greatly - with twice as much as he had before.
  

A baby will never walk if she is constantly carried. She needs to learn to pull herself up, to stand, and finally to take those first tottering steps. In the process, she will fall again and again. She might cry a few times. And when she does, we pick her up and say, "Try again, Sweetheart." Eventually, she will walk across the room, and even if she falls, she will get up by herself and keep going - all while we watch proudly from the side.

And when she is walking steadily, there is a new skill to learn - and one after that, and one after that. Most of the time, there will be failure before there is success. And we watch our toddler carefully while she learns these things. She may not even realize that we are there to scoop her up if she really gets into trouble. Skill upon skill, experience upon experience, slowly, but surely, she grows up and learns to hop and skip and tie her shoes and everything else that goes into becoming an adult.

Being a Christian is like that. There is no such thing as being done with God's training. Little by little, slowly but surely, He grows us up in Him. And that sounds good, right? And it is, but in real life, it hurts. We're being refined, and all our dross removed - and you know how that happens, right? It comes through fire. How easily we read those verses in our bibles:

Be truly glad.There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

1 Peter 1:6-7

You might be one that your friends look up to for wise words - the perfect Scripture applied at the perfect time.  Maybe you've even taught Bible study. You think of yourself as a mature Christian - ready not only to talk the talk but to walk the walk. Perhaps you're even a little proud of where God has brought you and what He's done in your life. But, you know what? You are barely further in God's training than someone who first believed yesterday. 

Nearly a year ago, I wrote a post and toward the end, I wrote, 

Sometimes the greatest disappointments in our lives come not from events or people but from thinking we knew what God was about and finding out we were wrong. Those "God is God and we are not" lessons can be painful, and yes, sometimes (at first) may result in spontaneous keening. It's basically disappointment with God, and where does that put you? There is no place to turn, and to fight it means you're fighting God. That, indeed, is a hard thing.

I'm going to go out on a limb, here, and suggest that you cannot go through a life of faith without at least one of those occasions. We're talking big time wrestling with God, and something you need to deal with if you are going to keep your faith intact. Your mom died when you prayed for healing. Your spouse left you when you prayed for restoration. Your life fell apart when you were trusting God to make things work. 

Those are hard, hard things. They are the things that can push people to depression and despair, which, of course, is what the enemy wants. Do you trust God or not? Do you believe His word or not? Is He working for good or not? These are major "make it or break it" faith testers.  And, just writing that, I can see why He might allow such a thing to happen. As hard as it is to go through, our faith needs to be tested.

Maybe by writing that, it sounded like I was done with that lesson (have you picked up on the fact that these blog entries are mostly me reminding myself of things I should know?). I'm going to be very transparent here, in the hope that God will use this to help someone else. This past year has been among the hardest of my life. Kind of like a midlife faith crisis. I don't think anyone in my life has realized the depths I've been in. And, it's not the kind of thing where you can go to someone and talk for awhile and feel better. This has been between me and God, and along the way, Satan has tempted me again and again and again to give it up - to say that God is not in control - and that all of this is just chance, with one outcome just as likely as another.

At any point, God could have jumped in and scooped me up and set me on my feet again, like that baby learning to walk - but this time, He hasn't. This time He let me fall and struggle up - and fall and struggle up. But, even when you let your baby struggle on her own, you are still right there, and now and then, she will look around to find you. I know that God is there, and I know that every time I read His word, I will catch a glimpse of Him again. I know these things. I have all the right words. In fact, if a friend came to me with my same struggle, I would show her in the Bible all of the promises of God, and I would show her why she could trust them. I KNOW that all God's plans for me are good and that in the end, He will bless me. So, why do I struggle?

A few days ago, I read one of the entries in Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest that suggested that we make a mistake when we seek answers from God instead of seeking God.

I am not yet out of this cave (a scene from Edge of Eternity by Randy Alcorn), and no, I don't even see the light, yet, but I do know what to do:

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:13

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Are you still in the fire, too? It is not forever. And just like when Nebuchadnezzar threw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego into the fire, Jesus is there with us, even if we don't see Him.

 And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished; and he rose in haste and spoke, saying to his counselors, 
“Did we not cast three men bound into the midst of the fire?”

They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.”

“Look!” he answered, “I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire; 
and they are not hurt, and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.”

Daniel 3:23-25 

There is something else I KNOW - that this fire, this struggle, this wrestling - is not for no purpose, and like Jacob, I will not let go until God blesses me for it. (Genesis 32:26). Satan can tempt me all he wants, but I will not let go.  I will pray, read God's word, stay in fellowship with other believers, and I will seek God with all of my heart. Perhaps someday, I will understand what it was all about, but even if not, I know God has a purpose. In the end, Job didn't get answers, but he accepted God's sovereignty - and God blessed him for it. 

P.S. If this is you, too, I am happy to listen. ♥ You can write me below or  here.

Evening wishes

Sometimes I wish I could just sit and write all day long. The truth is that I usually get those feelings when it's time to go to sleep or I have a hundred other things to do that second. The times I could actually sit and write - well, usually the thought never enters my mind.

Today, I thought about this blog a couple times and what I would write about. I would write about "seeking first the kingdom" but as I did my Bible reading today, I learned there was something you do before the seeking. You prepare your heart to seek. Sounds a little odd - but it came up several times in the chapters I read today in 2nd Chronicles.

Or, if not writing about seeking - which I will do eventually - I would write about Swedish Death Cleaning. Both things are sitting a bit heavily on my heart tonight. God finds interesting ways to teach me.

Do you ever find yourself at a place where you don't know exactly who you are or what you're supposed to be doing? That has been me lately. I am fifty-seven years old and don't know who I am. Or maybe I - the me that I know myself to be - am just temporarily misplaced. Life has a way of doing that.

My daughters are all grown up and seeking their own places in the world, and I found myself a little jealous this week. Not jealous of their lives so much, but jealous of being at a point where anything is possible, instead of where I am, realizing that much of my life has already been.

I know that's just earthly thinking. Stupid earthly thinking at that. But then, I remembered one of God's promises: 

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

All what things? Well, all the things - clothing, food, shelter - and also peace and purpose and a knowing of who you are in God's sight. So, yeah - I'm working on that. Not ready to write it out all neatly in a spiritual lesson (sounding like I've got it all figured out). But I know - even if I'm not there yet - that's it's the answer to my current restlessness, jealously, feelings of failure, feeling old - you fill in the blank. 

And, yeah, Swedish Death Cleaning. Totally not ready to write about that. I ran across an article about it today, and it hit me so hard that I know the Lord has things to teach me that I'm going to find uncomfortable. Again. 

So, evening wishes of being at a place where I'm ready to write because I have learned a lesson that I'm ready to share. Perhaps, for tonight, knowing the place to start is good enough?

 

Random thoughts on time on a Tuesday afternoon

 Einstein's theory of general relativity predicted that the space-time around Earth

 would be not only warped but also twisted by the planet's rotation. Gravity Probe B showed this to be correct. 

Credit: NASA and taken from this Space.com article

I've been cooking in my kitchen (gluten-free chocolate granola among other things) and listening to talks on YouTube this afternoon. One assertion that a particular interviewee made was that the angels had to have been created before the six days of creation, because there was not enough time for any of them to "go bad" otherwise.

It was at that point that I lost track of the talk entirely, because I started thinking about time. I am not a physicist. I am not even a scientist, but there are few things that have stuck in my brain. One, sort of, is Einstein's idea that space and time are connected. What does that mean? Who knows? But, one of the things that it apparently means is that not all observers of time experience it the same way. Another thing that people who understand it better than me declare is that mass and time are connected. Without mass, there is no time.

Do angels have mass? No, they do not. They can appear to us as having mass. They seem to be able to take on many different forms. However, they are spirits:

Who makes His angels spirits,
His ministers a flame of fire.

Psalm 104:4

That word for spirit is ruwach, and in some places in the Bible, it's also translated "wind." Like wind, a spirit has no mass. Therefore, a spirit has no time. Now, that's a terribly hard thing for us - trapped IN time as we are - to wrap our minds around. One second or one hundred million years are both the same, and both meaningless to someone who has no time. How does that even work? I have no idea. I'm hoping my resurrected, outside of time brain will get it a little better. 

For our argument here, though, the point is that angels have no mass. Therefore, angels have no time. Therefore WHEN they were created is completely meaningless. 

Does your soul have mass? If you take all your thoughts, dreams, experiences, loves, hates and everything that makes you, YOU, and put it on a scale, what does it weigh? It weighs nothing of course. Your soul has no mass. What truly makes YOU is not your body - it is your soul that inhabits your body for a space of time. Do you know what that means? It means your soul has no time. Your soul, like it or not, is eternal. For a bit of time, your soul inhabits a physical, earthly body. That body is subject to decay and disease and injury and death. Your soul, however, is forever, and only God can direct what happens to your soul when it is released from your body.

God is not subject to time. He is outside of time all together. For Him, the past, the present, the future are all the same. Some people describe time or history like a train. For us, the cars move past one at a time. There are cars that are already past. There are cars still to come, that we haven't seen yet. For God, it's like being far overhead the train and seeing it all at one time. Someday, when we enter eternity, time will be meaningless for us, too. Eternity is not lots of time - an endless train that stretches in both directions forever. No, eternity is being outside of time all together. And how cool will that be? Maybe, in our resurrected bodies (specially made by God to be as eternal as our souls), we will not only be able to explore the universe - but also explore history itself.

That whole "time" thing leads to lots of random thoughts. Time is also connected to speed. The closer you get to the speed of light (which was once much, much faster according to the latest research), the slower that time goes in comparison with someone standing still. Now, that's a brain twister. And what does that mean for Bible interpretation? Just that 6,000 years on earth, give or take and 16 billion apparent years of starlight, could actually be the same thing. A post for another day. 

  

NOTE: Angels can apparently manifest in a physical body (Genesis 6, for example). Since that would (obviously?) have mass, I have no idea how that works. They would be "in time" for at least that point, right? And yet could go back to being spirit? And does spirit equal interdimensional? And, if so, is that a physical body that just has the capability of popping in and out of different dimensions? Would that kind of body be subject to time? Random thoughts that counter my previous random thoughts?