Surrender and a cup of tea

My neighbor and I have been meeting most mornings for prayer for some time now. Often, she greets me with a wonderful cup of tea. So, we talk and drink tea and pray about our families and neighborhood and the world.

Recently, we have added reading a section of Andrew Murray's "Absolute Surrender" to our prayer time. This morning, we read a portion called, "God Blesses When You Surrender" (page 9-11 of that link) and the author was using the illustration of a tea cup, filled to the brim with warm and wonderful tea. He made the point that the cup is empty and ready to be filled with tea, and that if it was filled with something else, like ink or wine or vinegar, it couldn't be filled with tea.

As my neighbor read those paragraphs and the ones that follow, God was showing me something in addition to the author's words. You see, every morning, before I go to my neighbor's house, I drink another small cup of tea - except this one has one tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in it. There is perhaps 6 or 7 ounces of tea and only one tablespoon of vinegar, and yet what do I taste? I taste vinegar. Granted, it would taste much, much worse without the tea.

I realized that I am like that cup of tea with vinegar in it. Those things that are me, my, mine that I hold onto so tightly (whether I realize it or not) are like the vinegar in my tea. The tea is like God's presence in my life. I am a believer, and I trust God when He says, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) and yet, my own wants, needs and desires can drown out the "taste" of God when they are not of Him. Dark thoughts, fear and anxiety that creep in from the evil one are like more and more vinegar in my tea. The tea is still there! How much worse would the taste of my life be without God's spirit within me?

God has not withheld His spirit from me, yet I cannot always "taste" that He is there when there is too much "me" going on. It's like more and more vinegar in my tea. I echo the words of John the Baptist, "He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30).

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 34:8