Reminders of our own coming resurrection

 

Today, I am planting 345 reminders of the Resurrection. Remember in 1 Corinthians 15, where Paul talks about our new bodies? He says, “But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?” How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else.” (1 Cor 15:36-38). Then, a few verses later he say, “So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.” (1 Cor 15:42-44)

Then, he says, “I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” (1 Cor 15:50-54)

Today, I will plant tulip bulbs (and daffodils, allium, crocus, Spanish bluebells and checkered fritillaria). Those bulbs don’t look much like the beautiful flowers that will bloom in the spring. It’s the same with us. These bodies that live and work and breathe on this earth are just the seeds of what we will become when Jesus calls for us. These bodies die and get sick and feel pain (I’m pretty sure I will be sore after digging 345 holes on hands and knees today) - but THOSE bodies will never die. It is my personal opinion that you can replace the word “spiritual” in verse 44 with the word “interdimensional.” But that’s a thought for another day. I am truly hoping that my new body can fly, no plane needed. In any case, that body will be designed to live forever and to stand in the presence of God. That body will be like Jesus’ body, as John says in 1John 3:2. Remember that Jesus could simply appear in a locked room. Can you even imagine the adventures that await us? Soon and very soon! I can’t wait. 

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 

1John 3:2

When Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas

 

This photo really struck me when I saw it on Facebook. “Hope for the Broken-Hearted” is 

Christian author Debbie Kay’s ministry on Facebook and also at 

https://www.hopeforthebrokenhearted.com for people who are hurt or grieving. 

The message for this particular picture is from pastor Greg Laurie. 

The older I get, the more I have come to realize that nearly every single person struggles with something. In the grand scheme of things, your heartache may not compare with another’s, but it is still real to you. You may have depression or anxiety, or maybe you just heard that you or a loved one has a devastating disease or perhaps there is an empty place in your home and your heart this year. 

And all those things get more intense at Christmas. Why is that? Why do we put so many hopes into what is mostly (for many, at least) a man made holiday? Be honest - if you are reading this, you probably know the true meaning of Christmas - that Jesus is the reason for the season, and yet, if you are like me, you still enjoy all those man made extras - the lights and trees and decorations and all the traditions that mean “Christmas” to you. 

Some people dread Christmas for that exact reason, that there are so many expectations about it, but it fails to measure up. There are many holiday movies about “recovering your Christmas spirit.” That, somehow, this holiday will make a change in your heart, and you will love all those traditions again, and Christmas will once again be filled with meaning

When I was little, Christmas was about opening presents. And when all was unwrapped, and I had my little pile next to me, there was the inevitable sense of “is this all there is?” All this excitement that builds up, so that you can’t even sleep, and you run downstairs with your brothers and sisters to just look at the tree until you’re finally allowed to wake your parents, and then, just like that, it’s over. Even as a young child, I knew there was something wrong with that thinking. I was missing something. Even as I grew up and finally became a real Christian (I called myself a Christian for my whole life, but I wasn’t, really), I felt like I was still missing something when it came to Christmas. 

My husband and I created traditions for our young daughters, like going for Christmas light rides and “decorating day” and “cookie factory.” I created traditions for myself, like making biscotti and an annual ornament. I was always very, very busy at Christmas, but tried hard to keep it in perspective. And yet, even sitting in the Christmas Eve service, hearing again about God becoming a man at Christmas, setting aside His glory and being laid, a helpless baby in a cattle feed bin, somehow, I was missing something. Some part of me was not getting it. Still, I loved coming home from the service and having hors d’oeuvres by the fire, and then Christmas morning and watching my girls open their presents. I didn’t need to get a single thing - watching them was enough. I loved getting up early and making monkey bread for them, and having one of them be Santa (usually my youngest) and handing out presents, one by one. We all watched each other open each one, so we could savor it. But then, again, it was over, just like when I was a child. And something was missing. 

Last year, we went through the motions, but my husband was dying all through that time. We still had the tree, the decorations, the presents, but none of them meant anything. In many ways, it was horrible, and yet, the one thing needful, was actually there for me. It was probably the most holy Christmas of my life because it had been stripped of everything man made. And what was left, was Jesus. Not the baby-in-the-manger Jesus, but the Jesus who lived the perfect life and then died for me, one of the most imperfect people on the planet. The Jesus who somehow, held on to me all through that most terrible time. The Jesus who proclaimed through His word, that even as I kissed my husband good-bye, one last time, that it wasn’t really good-bye. 

THAT Jesus is what and who we really want when every year, we put out the trappings of Christmas. We can’t look to the tree or wreaths or flowers or traditions to fill that longing in our hearts. We can’t even look to family to do that. We need Jesus. The rest is still fun, and part of God’s blessings for us to enjoy, but even if you strip all that away, Jesus is the one who will make you feel whole. 

This Christmas, if you are having trouble summoning up any joy for the season, then stop looking for it in the season. If it all seems meaningless, then don’t look for your meaning there. The meaning is in Jesus, who was born of a young girl in a stable on that long ago night, but who lived and then died and rose again, for you. That Jesus is right there when you cry out in the night or when you feel alone or when anxiety threatens. He’s there, right now, calling to your heart to be fulfilled in Him. The signs are all around us that He’s coming soon, physically, with the sound of the trumpet, to call us to His side. And then we will always be with Him, and with those who have gone before us. 

If you can enjoy the “stuff” of Christmas, then do. Enjoy it all, but just remember, like Greg Laurie said in the picture above, we don’t really want merriment. We want Messiah. We don’t really want presents; we want His presence in our lives. And one day, maybe soon, we will finally see Him, face to face. And all the troubles of this fallen world will fall away as we enter into what He has prepared for those who love Him. If you’re not ready for that, or don’t know the Jesus who makes you whole, even when your world is crashing around you, then please write to me, and I’ll do my best to introduce you to Him. 

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,  Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir..

Galatians 4:4-7

Puzzle pieces

Today, in church, the pastor mentioned how many people just want things to get back to normal. I get it. 2020 hasn't been the greatest year for anybody. The pandemic has ruined plans for weddings and funerals and extended families just getting together. Businesses are closing, people have lost their jobs, we have to wear masks everywhere we go (if we go anywhere), and nothing is the same. Many, many people just want it fixed, so we can get back to the life we're used to. 

Many of the mandates in place right now are attempts to get us back to the way it was before, when there was no virus. Stop gathering. Stay six feet apart. Wear a mask. Clean and clean and clean. And wait for the vaccine that will bring back ordinary. 

I realized today that a great many people would accept things they would previously have considered intolerable or even impossible if it would just put our lives back together. If those things come with strings attached, well, that's just the price we have to pay, right?

How do you view the world in 2020? Is it coming apart, like a carefully constructed puzzle that somebody then dumped on the floor?  Do you feel like you had your life fairly ordered, the pieces fitting together, interlocking, and then someone put their fist through it? Even in a regular year, divorce, sickness, death, and unemployment can all feel like punches through through that jigsaw puzzle. Add in the events of 2020, and some people are barely holding together. And sadly, some have totally given up.

I would like to suggest a different way of looking at this whole situation. And, I would like to gently propose that setting your mind on getting back to normal, no matter the cost, may be a huge mistake, because the jigsaw puzzle is not coming apart. It's coming together.  

Piece by piece, the events of the world are falling into place, just like the Bible has long foretold. Sometimes, when you try to say this, you get accused of "newspaper theology." In other words, don't interpret the Bible based on what you see happening. I absolutely agree. Instead, you need to interpret what you see happening by what the Bible says. 

You might be surprised to realize that Jesus held the Jews of his time on earth accountable for failing to recognize prophecy being fulfilled. On the day of his triumphal entry into Jerusalem, Jesus intentionally chose the exact day to fulfill Daniel 9:25-27 and did it riding on a donkey, just as Zechariah 9 said he would. Those people were supposed to realize prophecy was being fulfilled. 

As (Jesus) approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

Luke 19: 41-44 

Why was Jerusalem destroyed and the temple burned and torn apart in 70 AD? Because the people of that city failed to recognize prophecy being fulfilled. Is prophecy being fulfilled today? I believe it is, but that's a conclusion you need to come to on your own if you're going to benefit from it. 

I think there is great comfort in seeing the world as a puzzle that God is putting together, bit by bit, rather than something you are trying to construct and hold in place. You may be mature enough in your faith that you KNOW that God is in charge, that nothing is happening that is out of His control. But, to see for yourself that things are coming together just like the Bible said they would? That's actually a reason to get excited, because it shows you that Jesus really is coming soon. 

When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.

Luke 21:28

So, how do you get to that place of actually recognizing "these things"? Well, you have to read the Bible, but perhaps in a way you haven't tried. I know this is practically sacrilege, but if you aren't used to the idea that God says what He means and means what He says,  put away your study Bible with the notes at the bottom of every page of what it's supposed to mean. Put away that Bible that you took to church and constantly wrote in the margin what the pastor said it meant. Get out a Bible translation (so not The Message, which is not a translation) that you will actually read and then just read it. Pray for understanding. Ask God to teach you, as David asks in the Psalms, and the Holy Spirit will teach you. Don't look for men's explanations of what it means until you have a firm grasp on what God is actually saying. Little bit by little bit, the Holy Spirit will teach you, at the pace that's right for you. You will not get everything the first time through. You will not get everything the 100th time through (we will be learning through eternity what all was there) - but every time you read, you will understand more than you did. 

And when prophecy in God's word becomes familiar to you (taking it literally whenever that makes sense), suddenly "global governance" and "global citizen" take on a new meaning. A vaccine that's required to work or travel (or maybe someday even to buy or sell?) might make you wonder what it's leading to. Iran moving into Syria makes you go "hmmm". And Damascus, the world's oldest, continuously inhabited city becoming a pile of rubble? (Go peek at Isaiah 17:1)

There are 1,189 chapters in the Bible. Reading 3-4 a day will get you through in about a year. Twenty chapters a day will get you through in about 60 days. Choose the pace that's right for you and just read. If you come to parts that seem mind-numbing (like all those numbers in Numbers or laws in Leviticus) then skim them at first. Don't let that be a reason to stop reading.  Eventually, God will start showing you things even there. You'd be amazed what's hiding in those numbers of Numbers. You may not see it the first time or even the tenth time, but when you do, it's like finding treasure. That's what Jesus meant when he said there would be "new treasures as well as old." 

There are nothing wrong with teachers. We are supposed to teach each other. Just treat cautiously those who explain scripture by explaining it away. Scripture interprets scripture. And as you become more familiar with it, the more you will see that something confusing in one place is explained in another. For example, if you wonder about the woman in Revelation 12, go back and check Genesis 37.

And while you are reading God's love letter to you, you will gain a lot more than familiarity with prophecy. His promises to you are real. Reading them for yourself will make them personal. Remember, too, that faith comes from hearing (truly "getting" it) the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). As you read and understand, your faith will grow. And as your faith grows, I think you'll start to see the puzzle coming together, not coming apart. Jesus is coming. The signs are all around us. Just hang on.

 

Do not tremble, do not be afraid.
    Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago?

Isaiah 44:8

 

 

Saints Triumphant

 

Bulletin cover; St John's/Montello, Wisconsin, WELS

 

This day on the Lutheran calendar is called "Saints Triumphant." It's the day we acknowledge those believers who have gone before us and who are already in the presence of the Lord - and how, we, too, will one day (maybe soon) be there with them. 

I walked into church this morning unprepared to see my husband's name on the screen. I had forgotten what day it was,  so when I sat down and looked up at the screen as I waited for the service to start, my husband's name there was a very solid kick in my heart. It has been ten months, but the tears started flowing like it was yesterday. My purse was soon filled with soggy tissues, and my face mask quickly became uncomfortably damp. But, I perfectly exemplified one of today's verses: 

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 

As Christians, we still grieve. The tears still come, and it's OK. I remind myself often that Jesus wept over Lazarus, even though he was going to be resurrected that same day. (John 11:35) We just don't grieve as those who have no hope. The verse goes on: 

For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 

1 Thessalonians 4:14 

My sweet husband and all of our loved ones who have gone ahead of us are not lost. They are alive - living more fully than they ever did on this earth. Remember what Jesus said?

But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob^'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”

Matthew 22:31-33  

Yet I was surprised this morning at how close to the surface the tears still are. Apparently I can be fine (more or less) one minute and sobbing the next. I have been dealing with it in two ways. Most of the time, I keep myself so busy and work so hard that I don't think about it. But, that doesn't heal - it just postpones. 

The second way, the better way, is to remind myself (as often as I need to!) that my husband is not dead. He has just gone ahead to the place where all of us believers will be, perhaps very soon. I - we - need to live in that reality. This world is not our home. We were not created to live in a fallen world. We were created for a world that God called "very good." Here, now, even nature groans, waiting for the redemption to come. (Romans 8:18-21)

That day is coming, though, and on that day, I will see my husband, my mother and father, and my little son, because none of them are gone. They have just gone ahead. Best of all, we will be with Jesus from that time and forevermore.

 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words. 

1 Thessalonians 4:15-18 

Thank you to my church family who reached out to me today with exactly that encouragement. And to you reading this, that encouragement is for you, too. Jesus is coming soon to make all things right again. This world is fallen, flat and colorless, full of darkness and evil. The real world is the one that's coming, full of light and life and only goodness. That is the world we were created for and it for us. Your loved ones who claimed Jesus as their savior are not gone. They have only gone ahead to that place. If Jesus is your savior, too, you'll be with them again. Just hang on ♥

It's OK

"It 's OK. You're OK. It's going to be OK." I must say that to myself dozens of times a day, as I attempt to tamp down the anxiety that continues to well up in me. I take a deep breath and let it out very slowly and say those words to myself again and again.  

Christians are not supposed to have anxiety, right? Many of us can quote some of the verses from the Bible, like this one from Philippians: 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6 

 Or this one: 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9 

In fact, the Bible is filled with verses that tell us not to be afraid, but to trust God. God is either in control or He is not. I may just not be mature enough, but I have to tell you, when your husband dies and your children are very far away (both my daughters married Canadians) and the whole world changes overnight because of a pandemic, it's really hard not to feel anxious. On top of that, I have a house full of things my husband acquired that I don't even know what they are, let alone what to do with them.  How many of them are vital to the running of the property? I have no idea. 

I'm working my way through this new life slowly, learning to mow and fix things and live on my own, all while dealing with the ever present grief and daily tears, even though I just hit the 9-month mark of widowhood. It's not just me; I know several new widows, and plenty of other people who are struggling, and so I'm writing this not only as a reminder to me, but for them, too.  

Why do you think the Bible speaks so frequently of fear and anxiety? Because we are human, and we have fear and anxiety. But, those feelings of worry and apprehension must not be allowed to rule us. That's the thing - you WILL feel them, but with God's help, they need not control you. I don't want to minimize the crippling effect that fear can have on some people, but I do want to remind you (and me) that we have a very big God. And remember, not once does God say, "Feel not." Emotions, especially for some of us, are not something you just switch off. But emotions are deceptive. What does God mean when He says through Jeremiah, "The heart is deceitful above all things" (Jer 17:9)? It means that you must not act or decide things based on how you feel about something. Your heart can deceive you. You may FEEL that something is right, but if God's word says it is wrong, then your heart is lying to you. 

It's true of fear, too. Our hearts may feel it, but it's almost irrelevant what causes it. Why am I afraid? You may have no idea. It's true that we may feel that anxiety (for whatever reason) welling up in us, but as often as it happens, we need to give it back to God. Whether your fear is real or imagined, rational or not, you need to just say, "Lord, you know what I'm feeling. I can't seem to help it. Please, I give it to you to deal with. Help me. I'm trusting you with this." 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 

It doesn't say, "Stop feeling anxiety!" No, it says when you DO feel it, give it back to God. There is very little you can do about most things. But, one thing you CAN do is to consciously, with full awareness, trust God. I have to remind myself again and again that trust is not a feeling!!!! Trust is a decision you make based on who God is and all that He has promised. 

By my will, I CHOOSE to trust God (and even that, He helps me do). It doesn't matter what I feel about anything. I may be filled with grief and fear. I may not have a single idea of what I'm doing. But, I still choose to trust that God knows what He is doing. When I feel that anxiety and give it back to God, I don't know what He will choose to do with it. He may take it away. He may calm me despite its presence. He may just stand beside me and walk me through it (not necessarily even feeling Him there, but just trusting that He is). My friends all know my favorite Bible verses:

Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6 

What does that verse mean? The "lean not on your own understanding" means just that. Don't put your trust in what you understand. Don't lean on your feelings about something. A God small enough to understand is not big enough to help you. Every situation you encounter has things going on that you know nothing about. You will never understand it all because you are not God. And you know what? You are not supposed to. "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps 46:10) could very well end with "and you are not."  Only God knows the end from the beginning. Only God knew at the beginning of my marriage that it would only be 31 years before He would call my husband home. Only God knows what will happen tomorrow, let alone next month or 31 years from now. I don't have to understand something to trust that God knows what He is doing. Why did He take my husband and leave me here alone? I don't know. I just trust that there was a reason, one that I probably won't know in this world.

Verse six goes on to say, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." What does that mean? It means put your faith in God. Put your trust in God. Begin every day and every decision within the day by acknowledging that God is in charge. And then what? "He will make your paths straight." He will make all things work for your good. He will make sure that you are provided for. He will keep you on the path that He has planned for you. If your prayer is, "Make me ready, Lord, for the days to come and your coming for us," then you trust (a decision, not a feeling) that He will do exactly that. Whatever is necessary for your continued walk on this earth will be provided. HE - not you - will make your paths straight. It's very much like the roller coaster I wrote about a couple of posts ago. You did not design the roller coaster, and you are not in control of it. Your "ride" was designed by the one who invented engineering. When you trusted Jesus as your savior, you were buckled in. Secure. And eventually, no matter how scary, no matter how full of pain or fear or anxiety or grief, He will bring you to the end of the ride. And remember, THAT'S the real world. That's the world where God will wipe every tear from our eyes. Not this world.

This world is only shadows - a poor reflection in a wavy mirror. The world to come is the real world. And perhaps, like mine, your loved one has gone ahead into that world. And your father in heaven, who loves you so much that He sent Jesus to die for you, will make sure that you get there, too. In the meantime, please know, it WILL be OK. Even if you have to remind yourself a hundred times a day, it will be OK. One day, perhaps very soon, the trumpet will sound, we will be clothed in immortality, and we will meet Jesus in the air, along with our loved ones who went ahead. And then no more good-byes, ever, ever again. That day is coming. That world is coming. Trust your savior despite what you feel. And, JUST HANG ON. 

Who am I?

 

 

 Photo credit: http://rejoiceinhim.com/life/god-sees-your-efforts/

 

 

Who am I? Now that I am no longer a wife. Now that my children are grown and married. Now that I am alone. Who am I? I remember a long time ago, when I asked the same question of myself, but before I really knew God, before Jesus reached me. I would go whole weekends, trying to "know and like myself", trying to establish in my mind who I was compared to the "me" I saw through someone else's eyes. At the time, I thought I had to completely separate myself from that version of me that the other person saw. Who was I, by myself? What did I like to do when I wasn't trying to please someone else?

 

That was a long, long time ago. In time, I met my husband, and in his eyes, I was pretty and smart and someone he wanted to be around. And that was great, but it was still someone else's perception of me. Over the years, a situation came up with another person where I was so completely misunderstood, that I'm still scarred by it.  And, I discovered that sometimes, the "you" that exists in someone else's mind is not only someone you wouldn't recognize as yourself, but someone you wouldn't like at all. 

 

In our human world, a person's perception of you is his or her reality of you. A very unfortunate truth. Sometimes, that builds you up - like how my husband saw me. And sometimes, it can be so hurtful as to nearly destroy you, when you are seen as something diametrically opposed to who you really are. And sometimes, there is truth in what they see that you don't want to admit and need to learn from.

 

There are very popular quotes that float around. "It doesn't matter how others see you. It only matters how you see yourself." But, how you see yourself can also be a lie. We all deceive ourselves - seeing ourselves better than we should or worse than we should. However, there is One who knows you as you really are, who knows you better than you know yourself. He knows every ugly thought, every arrogant act, every single thing you try to hide, and He loves you anyway. He loves you fully, completely and without hesitation. His love for you is unconditional. There is absolutely nothing you can do to earn it or deserve it. That One is Jesus. The One who died for you so that you can live forever with Him. And you know what? If you were the only person in the whole world that would believe that - who would accept that gift - He would have gone to the cross anyway, just for you. 

 

I am still wrestling with my life and who I am now. Not a wife. A mother only from a distance. My parents are in heaven, and so I am no longer a daughter in this world. Except that I am. Whatever and whoever else I am, I am a child of God. Both here, now, and in eternity. I remind myself daily - hourly - that THIS is not the real world. This current world, with misunderstandings, violence, even hatred - this is not forever. My husband, my parents, my husband's parents, my little unborn son - are all experiencing the real world, where there is no sin, and where we will really know each other. When we are there, (and there comes here!) ALL of this current world will seem flat and dull and small and impossibly blind. 

Yet, for now, when we are still in this reality, while we can still be misunderstood, try to be authentically you - transparently you - and very clear in what you say and do (and try really hard for your actions to match your words). But, the truth is, ultimately, you don't even know you. But God does. And He loves you. Remember, dear one, JUST HANG ON.

 

 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13:12

 

Roller coaster ride

 

 

 

 The picture above is from an article called "Seven of the World's Scariest Roller Coasters (with videos)"

 

 I don't think I'd be going too far to say that my world is just kind of nuts right now. I think I'd be saying that even if my husband hadn't died in January. I kind of suspect that your world is kind of nuts, too, maybe to the point where you're starting to ask, "Are these things  in the Bible? Because this is starting to feel like prophecy kind of stuff." And, yeah, in my opinion, it IS starting to look like prophecy right out of the Bible. It's starting to feel like Jesus' return is very close - for real! But that also means all kinds of scary stuff, right? Well, Jesus certainly never promised it was going to be easy. 

 

Even if you're not a Bible reader, things are still nuts. You've got Pandemic literally out your window. You go to the store and sometimes the shelves seem kind of empty. You go to pay for your purchase only to see a sign that says, "Due to the national coin shortage, we can accept exact amount only" or even "NO CASH ACCEPTED." You hear rumors of not being able to travel without a vaccine. And tucked in between Covid news and election this or that, was a little blip at the end of July, where it was quietly announced that the government has "off-world vehicles not made on this earth" Um - what??

There is really weird weather, like unprecedented flood here or snowfall there or earthquake over there (in North Carolina??????). Volcanoes are going off. The 2020 Hurricane season might be among the most active ever? And murder hornets? Seriously?

It wouldn't take much imagination to just get yourself scared to death, whether you believe in Bible prophecy or not. But, I DO believe in Bible prophecy, and I remember what Jesus said: 

 

When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near."

Luke 21:28

 

That day is drawing near, when Jesus will return and take His own to be with Him, forever. 

 

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18

 

Encourage one another with these words. It won't be long, now! But, it's still scary, right? You just have to remember that God knows the end from the beginning. He knew every day of your life, before you were ever born. From here to the end, whenever that is, whatever that includes, is still absolutely under God's control. There is not one single second of your life that God hasn't accounted for in His plan for you. He knew every screw up, every bad decision, every instance of being out of His will that you have done or will ever do, and is still working ALL of that for your good. 

 

 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

 

Notice that it doesn't say "some things". He doesn't work just the good things for your benefit. No, He works ALL things for your eternal good. 

 

Have you ever ridden a roller coaster? Maybe one of those really big, scary ones? You wait forever in line, and all the while you do, you keep looking over at the ride. It seems pretty wild, but not THAT bad, right? Until you're further on in the line, and the closer you get to getting on the ride, the more impossibly scary it looks. And then there's that moment where you sit down, and they lock you in, and the car takes off! There is no getting off, now. You have to go through it, no matter what - and as you are slowly ratcheting up that huge incline, you know there's going to be a stomach-dropping plummet afterwards, and YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT. But there is no getting off. You are on this ride until the end. 

I want you to think about something. As I mentioned, God has accounted for every second of your life in His plan for you. In a sense, He designed the ride that you are on. Now, we're not talking about a human designer here. We're talking about the best engineer in the entire universe, personally designing YOUR ride. Your ride is not like anyone else's. There may be parts that are similar, but God's ride for you was designed JUST FOR YOU. And, yeah, it's kind of like a roller coaster, but every twist, every turn, every heart-stopping moment was pre-planned, JUST FOR YOU. Perfectly engineered, by the One who invented engineering.

And when you believed in Jesus as your savior, you were buckled in with the safest harness there could possibly be. No, you can't get off. But, you will ALWAYS, ALWAYS make it to the end of the ride. God Himself designed it that way. If you are trusting Jesus as your savior - believing that He died for your sins in your place, and then rose again - then the end of the ride is life eternal, forever with Jesus. No more death or pain or sin. No more good-byes. The place at end of the ride is the real world. This world is just the Shadowland, as C.S. Lewis called it. 

So, your job is to trust the Designer of your ride and to hang on. Scream if you need to, but JUST HANG ON. The end of the ride is coming. And then, real life finally begins. This whole world is just a poor reflection of that wondrous world that awaits us at the end of the ride.

 

 No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him. 

1 Corinthians 2:9

The hardest post I'll ever write

(Please, Lord, let this be the hardest post I ever write)

There have been many times in the last couple of months that I've thought about something I've wanted to write. I guess it's a good sign, a sign of healing, that I want to write at all. But, every time I come here to start a post, I realize that I can't just start writing something without telling the story of the last few months. Yet, every time I tried, I would look at what I wrote the last couple of posts, and my heart would squeeze, and I just couldn't. 

But, if I want to write again, and I do, I need to get past that. Most people who will read this post already know what happened. For the sake of the blog and anyone who finds their way here who doesn't know me, though, I need to tell the story.

My daughter got married last October 27. A wonderful wedding, with my most poignant memory being of her dancing a swing dance with her dad. They practiced for weeks, and it was one of the highlights of the day. My husband had such a smile on his face. Three weeks later, we went to Door County here in Wisconsin to celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. Other than some pain in his foot & leg, which we put down to doing something the previous week, all seemed fine. A week later, he started having trouble eating. The tiniest amount of food would make him feel like he was going to vomit. His leg pain increased, and his stomach started to hurt all the time. I took him to the doctor, and I personally told the doctor all I had been seeing. He ordered a bunch of tests, all of which were inconclusive. By December 16, my husband's stomach hurt so bad that I took him to the emergency room, where they did a CT scan. I expected them to tell us that he had a bowel blockage, and worst case, might need surgery to correct it. Instead, they told us that his body was full of cancer. It was already everywhere. And just three and a half weeks later, he was gone. His cancer doctor told me that all pancreatic cancer is aggressive, but his was especially bad. 

Maybe someday I'll be able to write of those weeks. I can't, yet. I hope with all my being that his passing was pain free, but for me, it was traumatizing. Even now, nearly seven months later, I have to pray away the memory of that last week whenever it surfaces. While he could talk, my husband assured us that he was at peace with what God had decided for him, but I wasn't. I was in full denial. Hundreds of people were praying, and I wanted to believe that God would heal him, and give him back to me. Those prayers were not in vain. God did heal him - just not the way I thought He was going to. My precious husband needed to let go of his need for the things of this world to be ready for the next one, and that is exactly how God healed him. 

My daughters and their husbands were able to come and spend time with their dad. His sister and her husband were also here. My oldest daughter was able to show him a 3D ultrasound picture of his soon-to-be-born, first grandchild. I know that God was gracious to us. He gave us time to say good-bye, and He didn't allow my husband to go through endless suffering, trying to hang on to this world a little longer. But who is ever ready to say good-bye to anyone you've loved so deeply?

God has already taught me many things these last few months. For one thing, this separation is temporary. Before he died, my husband made a recording for me, to put inside a teddy bear. His message was simple: "I love you, Jacqui. I will see you soon."

And I will see him soon. No one with any amount of Bible knowledge can look around and not realize that we are nearly at the end of this world as it has been. It is almost time for God to bring all things to completion, and part of that plan is bring His people to Himself, never to be separated again. (1 Thessalonians 4:17)  My husband would not recognize this world he left. So much has changed in just these few months since January.

I know that writing posts here will still be hard. The things I've learned, I've learned through pain, and that's never the easiest thing to talk about. But, I hope this is the start of writing again. 

So, Lord, tell my dear husband that I love him. Tell him that I miss him, but I know it won't be long, and we will all be together again, with You. And then, no more good-byes, ever, ever again.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage one another with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:16-18


 My husband's obituary

In light of eternity

Do you ever feel like growing older isn't really fair? As I sat in Bible study at church yesterday, these and other thoughts were interrupting my listening to the pastor. At that point in the lesson, we were discussing these verses: 

For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.

Romans 8:22-23 NLT

That part, "we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering," is about being in pain, being sick, growing old, and the pastor was making the point that when we are suffering like that, maybe with something like cancer or constant pain, that we might be tempted to say, "I thought you loved me, God. I've served you my whole life. Why are you doing this to me?"

And, in my head, I was off, thinking about things God has already taught me. Well -- is teaching me. Will continue to be teaching me. 

Not that long ago, I was feeling pretty blue. My grown children were having adventures, and I was kind of jealous. (still am, in all honesty) Their whole lives were still ahead of them, and mine was mostly past. At that moment, getting old didn't seem fair. So, why is that the way it is? 

And, of course, God reminded me that He didn't create us to die. We humans did that to ourselves.

Of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.

Genesis 2:17

And that is why Jesus had to come to earth - to live and die in our place, so that we could be forgiven for that original sin and all the ones each one of us commit. And one day, He will undo all the damage we're wrought on this earth and will make it perfect again. 

Which brings us back to the verse from Bible study - longing for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. And that's how God uses our dying bodies for good - to long for the day when we will be released. When all creation will be released. If all was perfect, if we were always young and strong, what reason would we have to long for something better? What reason would we have to feel the need to get right with God? 

So, I have accepted that in this fallen world, with these fallen bodies, that getting old is literally part of God's plan for us. From His perspective, this little time on earth is the merest blip, not even the blink of an eye, compared for what He has in mind for us. In light of eternity, our time of feeling old and useless is nothing. For the day will come - maybe soon - when corruption puts on incorruption. 

 So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption.  It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power.  

1 Corinthians 15:42-43

Photo credit: https://christskingdom.org/articles/heaven-jesus-believers-new-glorified-body/

So, knowing what awaits, we can (should, at least), be patient with these failing bodies. So, that is not my issue. I accept that that is the way it is, so that is not what my mind was occupied with yesterday. No, I was thinking more of the useless part. We were in Romans, and 15 years ago, I had written an overview of the whole Bible, with a little bit on each book, and I had a couple of sentences on Romans. 15 years ago, Romans was so familiar to me that I could summarize it for my Bible study ladies without a lot of effort. Yesterday, I literally couldn't remember what I had said about Romans. 

Yeah, so? Many of my friends, when I make some kind of comment like that will respond that they have trouble remembering why they came into a room, let alone something they wrote 15 years ago. The point is not that I couldn't remember what I had said. The point is that yesterday, given the same opportunity to summarize Romans in a couple of sentences, I couldn't do it. 

I sat there, with the Pastor's voice an unheard buzz in the background, while I tried to summarize Romans in my head. I couldn't do it. That book used to be so familiar to me, and now, I can barely remember what is in Romans and what isn't. How am I supposed to be useful to God like this?

And, I remind myself, yet again, that God created me for a purpose. I've written about that before: Work that only you can do and I'll surely write on it again. I can't be alone. There must be other believers out there who used to feel more useful than they currently do. But, as I continually tell myself, God knew I would get to this point, and He still has a purpose for me in being here, or He would have found a way to call me home. Since He has not, there is still work for me to do. No, it obviously is not the same work as before, but it is still important, and He still means for me to do it. 

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

NOTE: None of this is about working to earn my right to heaven. In that regard, our only work is to believe that Jesus has already done it all for us, and even that, the Holy Spirit works in us to believe that.

I don't like getting old, and I am still jealous of my daughters, with their lives ahead of them. But, in light of eternity, all of it, literally ALL of it, is nothing. In light of eternity, it doesn't matter how old you are, whether you lead an adventurous life or go exciting places. All that matters is knowing Jesus and trusting Him as your savior. If you are right with God, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. As Paul says, "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." (Philippians 3:8)

In light of eternity, this tiny blip of a life is truly nothing. 

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
    and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared
    for those who love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9   

And while here, there is still work for me to do. 😁 

Finish the work

Obviously, I've been doing a lot of things besides writing this blog. Lately, I've been outside pretty much all day, every day. Yesterday, it was supposed to start raining at some point in the afternoon. I decided to see how much I could get done in the garden before the rain came. By this time, it was almost 4:00, and that was when the front was supposed to come through.

I grabbed a pail, and a pair of scissors (to cut stinging nettle to make quiche), a package of purple bean seeds to plant, and my trusty shovel that's been a constant companion this spring. As you can see in the picture, three of my squares are not only not planted, but I haven't even dug in the compost, yet. It was my plan to ready another square for planting.

As I stood in the garden, softening up the bean square soil with my hand, the wind started to howl. Our property has many basswoods, which really catch the wind because they are so tall. They stand as sentinels behind my vegetable garden and nearby food forest. I love the wind, so I look up, and the light behind the trees has that "going to storm" look to it. It's all wild and wonderful, and suddenly I have one of those "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening" kind of moments.

We live in the country, and I'm usually talking to God out loud while I work, asking Him about what to plant where and telling Him that something is pretty, and whatever. No one can hear me, and it's just become what I do outside. So, that's normal, but asking Him to speak back is not typical for me. For one thing, I'm just too afraid that my imagination would take over and put words in my head.

There have been a couple of occasions in my life when I've heard God speak loud and clear, literally like someone speaking in the room. There have been a handful of times when I've heard God speak in my soul or my head or whatever you want to call it, and I knew that I knew that I knew that it was Him, and even had it confirmed later that yes, it really had been. (If you've experienced that, you know what I mean) There have been times when God spoke and I had no idea that it had been Him until afterward. And, there have been many times when I heard a whisper that was so light that I am just not sure. Was that God? Was that me? There are times when it didn't matter, because the words were scripture from the Bible. But, if it wasn't from the Bible, was it really God? Speaking to me in a gentle whisper?? Yesterday, was one of those times.

So, I'm in garden, looking up at the tossing trees, and that light that says a storm is coming, the wind whipping my face, and I say, "Speak, Lord. Talk to me." And immediately, "Hurry" comes into my head. Hurry? With the garden? So, just in case, I stop with the beans and go cut my stinging nettle, because we're going to have that for supper. That done, I get ready to plant my purple beans, and while I do that, I'm talking out loud to God. "Was that You, Lord? Hurry? Are you just caring about me not getting wet?"

I'm bent over, popping beans into the soil, and into my head comes, "Finish the work. You have less time than you think you have."

I stand up and look at the sky. "Lord? Is that really You? This isn't about the garden, then? If that's really You, could you please confirm this somehow?"

Now, in the immediate, I certainly did have less time than I thought I had. I hadn't started digging the new square for planting, and in fact, I wasn't even done with the beans when the rain started. I hurried then! I needed to finish the beans before I got soaked.

As I ran to the house, I'm thinking about those words. It really didn't feel like me talking to myself, because why would I say that? "FINISH THE WORK. YOU HAVE LESS TIME THAN YOU THINK YOU HAVE." If it was God, what did it mean? Is my personal time nearly up? Is the world's time nearly up? And if it was God, what work did He mean?

So, I get in the house, and I'm praying for confirmation of some sort, but none came - nothing big and flashy, any way. As the evening progressed, I remembered something that J.D. Farag had said. (My paraphrase of it) "If you knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Jesus was calling you home tomorrow, what would you do differently today?" I think he was speaking of the rapture, but it could also be our personal "Judgment Day" at any time.

So, I realized that whether that was truly God or just my conscience, it is true. We all have work to do, that God designed for us - and us for it.

For we are God's handiwork,

created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

And we always have less time than we think we have. So, what work for me, specifically? I guess I will be praying about that. Maybe I'm supposed to write more, here. I've used the excuse that my brain doesn't work so well these days, but God will supply what I need, if this is part of what He wants me to do. I haven't written a word here since November, but somehow, in the last month, people from Russia, Egypt, Bangladesh, Israel and six other countries have found my posts. No idea if I helped anyone. That's in God's hands. 

So, were these words are really from God? Finish the work. You have less time than you think you have - and if they were from God, is it just me that has less time or all of us?

I don't know. But, a reminder that we, as believers, are each still here for a reason. In any case, I like how the New Living Translation puts John 9:4: 

We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us

by the one who sent us.

The night is coming, and then no one can work.

John 9:4

Time to get to work! Help me, Lord, to stay on your path, in the center of your will, and help me to do whatever work You'd have me finish in the time I have. 

P.S. If those words were from God, I really don't want it to mean a personal "time is short," but all my days are written in God's book, and I know that all His plans for me are good. I am trusting that my sins are forgiven, because Jesus paid for them on the cross. And because He lives, I will also, forever and ever with Him.

Martin Luther, a man for his time

This is something I posted on Facebook on November 1, 2017. As I watch the news this morning, it seems appropriate to post again. Five days from today, we go to the polls in what some are calling the most important mid-term elections of all time. No matter who wins or loses, there will be people unhappy with the way it turned out. I pray every day for those elections, but it is God who decides who He will allow to lead our country. That is true about our president, who will be in office for at least two more years. That is true for the Senate and Congress. That is true for every country in the world. Yes, we need to vote, but no matter what happens, God is in charge, and we need to trust Him

________________________________

Last night was the 500th anniversary of the day when Martin Luther nailed his 95 "talking points" to the door of the chapel (October 31, 1517). Thanks to the printing press & printers looking for interesting material to print and sell, they went "viral," and soon this obscure monk and his ideas were on the minds of many. It sparked a movement that changed the world.

As I sat in church last night, reviewing what I knew about Luther, it occurred to me that he was a man for his time. God used him mightily, but he was loud, sometimes crude and about as far from a diplomat as you could get. And yet, had he been less strong, even less brash, perhaps, he would not have stood as he did, and the Reformation might never have happened.

If Twitter had been at his disposal, I can only imagine the tweets that Luther would send. (This might give you some idea: https://churchpop.com/2014/08/10/29-of-martin-luthers-most-hiliariously-over-the-top-insults/)

God's choice of leaders may not always fit what we think we want, but He knows what we need. Our job is to trust Him with that.

Called out of darkness: A Halloween story

 

The Bible says that all of us were once darkness. I was once darkness. Not only did I live in darkness, but I actually sought it out. I didn't realize that was what I was doing. 

I've been thinking about how to tell this story for days. If I wanted to tell it at all. In all honesty, no, I don't want to tell it. Christians are not "good" people. True Christians are forgiven sinners - forgiven because the blood of Jesus covers all those things that we did, are doing, will do that make us ashamed. This story makes me ashamed, but like all my sins, Jesus' blood covers this, too.

There was a time when Halloween was my favorite holiday. I told my college roommate that it was my favorite because it had no meaning - that it was just for fun. We had "secret spooks" in our dorm one year, and I had a great time filling my assigned person's mailbox with round candies that would spill out when she opened the latch, turning all her clothes inside out on their hangers (with a bit of help from her roommate), leaving a trail of paper ghosts for her to follow to find a prize. All fun. 

I went to church, but I didn't really get anything out of it. I had grown up going to a Methodist church. I'm not sure if they didn't talk about Jesus there, or if I just didn't hear it. Regardless, by the time I went to college, I considered myself a Christian, but I don't think I really was. At best, I was a tiny, baby Christian who didn't know anything about anything.

College was a confusing time. Classes and grades were the only things that were easy, and in that way, I excelled. Every thing else was superficial. I laughed for hours with my friends over people and places and professors. The real me never came out, though. My life was painful and full of never-answered questions. I meandered down all kinds of paths that didn't go anywhere. I searched for spiritual meaning but found emptiness. I learned to act like a caring, loving "Christian" person, but inside, I was a mess. I decided my problem was a lack of self-esteem, so I went on a self-help binge. I spent whole weekends "getting to know and like myself."

I started reading the Bible, but the meaning slid off me. Jesus died on the cross so that my sins could be forgiven, and I could go to heaven. So? Did I believe it? Really, truly, deep inside where no one could see, did I REALLY believe it? Other things were equally interesting. Reincarnation - that was weird, but maybe true? Out-of-body experiences sounded plausible. ESP was fascinating. Ghosts? Maybe there was too much evidence for them to be totally a hoax. Same thing for UFO's. It's a big universe, after all. Who's to say? What about spirit quests? What about . . . You get the idea.

I went to church, but it didn't do anything for the hole in my soul. I know now that it didn't help because I never heard about Jesus there! (Pretty sad commentary on the state of today's churches) It wasn't until I started listening to Christian radio that I started hearing about sin and the need for a savior. I listened to one Bible teacher after another, and finally, things started to click. One day, I pulled into a grocery store with Christian radio playing in the car. Just as I parked, I heard, "If you were the only person that Jesus could have saved by dying on the cross - if you were the ONLY person who would listen and believe and have your sins forgiven - Jesus would have done it anyway, just for you. He loves you that much."

I sat there, stunned. The message stabbed me in the heart. Truth. I knew I was hearing the truth. I decided to read the Bible from beginning to end. Every day I read, and every day I prayed, "If this is real, help me understand. Help me believe. I want to believe! Jesus, are you really God? Help me know for sure."

Somewhere during the twelve hundred and seventy-three pages, God reached me and I changed. I caught a glimpse of my life as God saw it. I'm sure I condemned myself to eternal suffering before age two, let alone those college years. But now I KNEW that Jesus loved me, and that he took every sin -- my angry outbursts, hypocritical judgments and others I don't even want to remember -- to the cross with him. When I die and stand before God, Jesus will step in front of me. God won't see my sins, but Jesus' righteousness instead. Heaven waits for me - not because I was good, kind and loving, but because God the Father punished Jesus instead of me.

And that was that, right? From that point on, I was a good Christian. I had read the Bible and put the past behind me. Here's the thing that is so hard to write about - so hard to admit. For several years after that, I lived in two worlds. I have no doubt that I was saved, but like Lazarus stumbling out of his tomb (alive!), I was still wrapped in my grave clothes.

I was a Christian who was attracted to darkness. How crazy is that? In my defense, I didn't realize that was what I was doing. I loved all things supernatural. If there was a rational explanation for something, I was disappointed. I loved stories about wizards and magic. It was harmless entertainment. Halloween was still just for fun, with cute decorations and costumes and trick or treating with my young daughters. If "Harry Potter" had been available in those days, I would have loved it and everything about it. If someone had tried to tell me that ANY of that was wrong, I would have laughed at her. I didn't actually believe any of it. It was just for fun. I was able to separate that world from the world of being a Christian. I could enjoy it for the harmless fun that it was. Right? Isn't that right?

I said this was a Halloween story, and every Halloween story needs a spooky part. I went on, just like that - reading my Bible and also reading books like Harry Potter (that particular book hadn't been written, yet, but there were hundreds of others). I discovered a series of books that I especially liked, that had characters with magical powers. There were so many of the books that I could read 3 or 4 a week - for weeks on end. I found myself thinking about the characters all the time. At night, I started dreaming about them. Then, in my dreams, the characters started taking on a life of their own, and it was like I was in the story. They were talking to me, telling me things. It was fascinating. So real - so fun.

Had anyone tried to talk to me about the dangers of that, I would have argued that he or she was wrong. It was harmless, and I was perfectly fine. And then one day, the characters talked to me in real voices - except I was not asleep. In that moment, I realized what I had done. I was listening to demons. Can I convey to you my terror? My horror? Up to that day, all was "fun," and then God allowed me to see past the obscuring veil. I had allowed the evil one not only into my house, but into my mind. I was listening to creatures of darkness who had masqueraded as the characters from the books I had been reading. Masqueraded as angels of light. When God allows you to actually see the enemy as they are, there is no fun there. There is no entertainment there. There are only lies and deception, darkness and evil - the blackness of the pit itself.

I cried out to God, to Jesus, my savior, "Help me! Make it stop! I'm so sorry!" and just like that, they were gone. I fear that if I had not obeyed the voice of God in that moment, when He called me out of darkness, that I would have been lost. The evil ones would have had possession of me.

I was a Christian still wrapped in grave clothes. I was a Christian still chasing darkness. That day, I stopped reading those kinds of books. I stopped having anything to do with Halloween (because it's not meaningless). I stopped all of that, and instead, I try to warn others. Not because I see myself as some sort of "better than thou." No - because I'm like an alcoholic, and that would be taking a drink. To this day, when I come across books or movies or pictures or anything like I used to love, there is a tug on my soul. "Come back! It's just harmless! You know you love it!" whispers the evil one. But, the Spirit within me says more loudly, "No! Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them." (Ephesians 5:11)

I have been called out of darkness, and so have you. Don't let the evil one fool you in whatever way you are vulnerable. For me, it was the attraction of the supernatural, and honestly, the love of darkness. For someone else, it might be sexual or some other thing. We all have our weak spots where Satan tries to get in, but we can't live in both worlds, calling ourselves Christians while chasing darkness.

This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.

1 John 1:5-10

I was once darkness, but I have been called out of it. The pull is still there, but with God's help, I will not give in to it. 

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
    rise from the dead,
    and Christ will shine on you.”

  Ephesians 5:8-11 

On this day when much of America is celebrating darkness, don't be like me, trying to walk in both worlds. I'm not here to make any doctrinal argument about what Christians can and cannot do or whether a Christian can be possessed or oppressed or whatever. I am just telling my own story, and if you would like to tell me yours, please comment below. 

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. 

1 Peter 2:9